


Under Their Watchful Eyes

by Ryu_Reikai_Akuma



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst and Porn, Dubious Consent, Dubiously Consensual Blow Jobs, Forced Exhibitionism, Forced Orgasm, Forced Public Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Switching, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mutual Dub-Con, Non-Consensual Touching, Painful Sex, Public Humiliation, Uncle/Nephew Incest, Wedding Night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 03:37:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7491969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryu_Reikai_Akuma/pseuds/Ryu_Reikai_Akuma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wedding nights should be a joyful occasion, but not for Kili and Thorin. For them, it was a humiliation, as the consummation of their marriage should be witnessed by other dwarfs lords, whether they liked it or not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Under Their Watchful Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> I can't remember what I read but there's a fic out there that my twisted mind turned into this. I've had this written for months but I never really got around to properly editing this. Thanks to she-who-must-not-be-named for telling me if this is hot enough (reading a fic repeatedly for months makes you numb to it). If you don't think it's hot enough, let me know so I can blame her.
> 
> Please pay attention to the tag. If I missed anything, let me know. Enjoy!

Kili fidgeted nervously as he waited in a too-bright room. He clenched his hands into fists to stop himself from rubbing his skin. Fragrant oil made it shine under candle lights, making him more pleasing to the eyes. It felt strange, however, and he wanted nothing rubbed his body clean. But it wouldn’t do, just as he absolutely mustn’t leave a single strand of his hair be out of place. Usually left alone to be as wild as it pleased, now it was brushed until it’s silky smooth. He barely dared to move in fear of messing it up, making the many minutes he had spent taming it go to waste. He had to look perfect for the performance to come. Kili could have asked for some attendants to help him as some had suggested, but he wanted this short moment to be as private as possible. The slickness between his buttocks and the looseness of his entrance reminded him that he had made the correct decision. His skin flushed deep red when he recalled the difficulty and awkwardness of preparing himself-something he had never done before. It hadn’t been how he had envisioned that experience to be, but that’s the way things were. Kili looked at the door, wondering how his new husband was doing.

Most likely livid, he thought grimly. Thorin had been in a terrible mood for the past couple of weeks. Kili had been worried that he would lose his temper when they received blessings for their marriage and during the feast that followed it. Fortunately, Thorin had been able to control himself, although still clearly unhappy. Kili’s lips twisted. Who wouldn’t be angry, though, after knowing what they had to do to make their marriage truly official?

A sharp knock interrupted Kili’s thoughts. He swallowed thickly as his heart pounded inside his chest. His first instinct was to run, but Durin Folks don’t run from danger or shame. They faced obstacles with dignity. Moreover, more than anything, Kili wanted to be with Thorin, to stand by his side as his consort, to have their relationship recognized by tradition, law and everyone in Middle Earth, and this was how he would earn that recognition. So, Kili took a deep breath, made sure that his silk dressing robe had properly covered him, and opened the door.

Beside two attendants, the large bedchamber was still empty, but it wouldn’t be for much longer. Kili dispassionately looked at the thick but soft bed covered with silk and fur and then the candles strategically placed around the room to provide the best lighting for what was to take place. He looked away and found himself looking at a closed window. Out there, the people of Erebor and their allies were still celebrating his wedding, drinking and eating, dancing and singing, until they couldn’t anymore. He wished he could join them, just as other newlyweds did on their wedding days. He wished he could enjoy the day which was supposed to be the happiest day of his life. But no. There would no joy to be found tonight. Instead he was here, readying himself to be humiliated by those he called honored guests.

The door leading to the rest of the king’s living quarter opened soundlessly. It took Kili a moment to notice it, lost in his thought as he was. It wasn’t until he heard heavy footsteps that he turned to look. His gaze was immediately drawn to Thorin. Deep love filled his heart at the sight of his beloved and a smile automatically formed on his face. Unlike usual, however, it wasn’t returned. Thorin’s deep frown dampened the brief happiness Kili felt. He looked at the dozen of dwarf lords that followed Thorin and felt his heart sank. He barely noticed when the attendants bowed low and left, closing the door firmly behind them, leaving the newlyweds with the lords.

Despite having prepared himself for this for weeks, nervousness still overwhelmed Kili. His eyes flitted from one dwarf lord to another rapidly as his heart beat erratically in his chest. Dain smiled to him encouragingly but he was the only kind face among the unwanted audience. The rest of them looked at him with vague disinterest, as if he was nothing but a cheap roadside entertainment instead of the prince consort whose virginity would be taken before their eyes.

While Kili wouldn’t call himself a romantic, he wanted his first time to be done in private where he could learn the delicate art of love and explore himself as well as his partner. Thorin had agreed, promising to do it properly, to wait until their wedding days before teaching Kili everything he knew and learning everything about Kili. But things didn’t go according to plan. As the preparation for their wedding was underway, old lords had come to Thorin, demanding him to uphold the ancient tradition of having esteemed lords witnessing the king’s wedding night. Indignant refusal didn’t deter them as they claimed it was important to not let tradition be forgotten. So many pieces of their history had been lost and what better way to remind people now that they had Erebor back and their king was to marry a prince? For days they had argued until the lords threatened to not recognize the marriage and any effect it might have on the politics of Erebor and Kili couldn’t let that happen even though Thorin was willing to keep fighting to spare them the indignity.

“Is this _really_ necessary?” Thorin demanded no one in particular.

“I’m afraid so,” one of the dwarf lords answered.

“It was only a tradition to ensure an heir would be produced! There is no need for it here!” Thorin barked.

Kili flinched. Many frowned upon their union because it meant there wouldn’t be any direct successor from Thorin. They had ignored this objection. After nearly losing each other so many times during the quest to regain Erebor, they decided that what they had was equally important as their duties, if not more so. Some, especially those who had seen firsthand the effect of the Battle of the Five Armies, understood this and supported them. Kili was grateful for them and in front of them he put on a happy face befitting one who was to marry his beloved. However, in private he was haunted by the knowledge that he was the one responsible for the end of the line of Durin. Fili would be king after Thorin, but it wouldn’t be the same as he wasn’t directly descended from the king. The ancient tradition, their blessed line of succession occupied by the first sons of the first sons would end because Thorin fell for Kili and would have no other but him. It was a burden Kili would carry to his final day and tonight would only serve to ensure it.

“Nevertheless, we need to make sure that the marriage is truly official!” another dwarf lord argued.

Thorin turned to the dwarf to argue with them for the umpteenth time. But it was no use. The lords were already here, ready to witness the consummation of their king’s marriage. They wouldn’t leave no matter how Thorin argued. A fight would only drag this night on unnecessarily and Kili was brave enough to admit that his nerves couldn’t handle that, his stomach already turning at the sight of the witnesses. Steeling himself, Kili grabbed Thorin’s arm to stop him.

“It’s all right.” He smiled tightly.

The anger on Thorin’s face was quickly replaced by regret. “You don’t have to do this,” he said to Kili.

“We have to,” Kili insisted. “It’s just one time after all,” he added with false confidence.

“Kili, please,” Thorin implored quietly. This had nothing to do with the dwarf lords and was only between them. But the room was so quiet that Thorin’s voice could clearly be heard by the dwarf lords, yet another facet of their relationship they had to share with others tonight.

As an answer, Kili stepped closer to him and kissed him. He closed his eyes tightly, focusing on Thorin’s soft lips on his, the soft scratch of his beard against his skin, and the warmth of his body. At first, Thorin was stiff with nervousness, but Kili deepened the kiss and carefully licked the seam of Thorin’s lips to ask for entry, knowing Thorin would never refuse him this. Indeed, after a moment, Thorin parted his lips hesitantly, allowing Kili to slip his tongue inside to caress the sensitive palate of Thorin’s mouth. One large hand lifted up to cradle the back of Kili’s head, angling them so that they could deepen the kiss. Very easily, Thorin dominated the kiss, forcing Kili to slow down so he could kiss him properly, tattooing every inch of his mouth with his tongue until Kili trembled with desire. Kili couldn’t help but moan into Thorin’s mouth and press closer to him, clutching his waist tightly. Between their bodies, pressed against Thorin hip, Kili’s cock began to stir.

This was familiar. Kili was always eager and Thorin always loathed refusing him. They had done this before, stealing kisses that left them yearning. Sometimes one of them would pull the other to a private corner to plunder each other’s mouth, to show how much they loved and desired each other. As neither of them had wanted to take it further than kisses, they only tortured themselves, but they couldn’t fight their craving for each other’s touch, even if at the end of it they would be left panting, hands gripping each other, struggling to control their needs. They had only had the relief of their own hands, taken separately for fear of tempting themselves further. Kili can’t count the times he had touched himself to completion, wishing all the while that Thorin was with him or that he was the one making Thorin come. It had been a different kind of torture to meet afterward, when their bodies were still tingling with release, unable to share that precious moment after bliss. Their kisses, when they were able to steal some, had always sweet and tender, conveying longing and satiation at the same time.

Kili slipped his hand into Thorin’s dressing robe to caress his torso, making muscles jump with his curious touch. There’s no need to hold back now that he had the privilege to touch bare skin. Thorin’s breath stuttered when Kili combed his thick chest hair with fingers that trailed low to his abdomen, fingers hesitating just above the v of his hips. Kili wanted to lower his hand to explore what he had only ever imagined, but decided to wait. Instead, he made his way up to Thorin’s broad chest. An accidental flick on one of Thorin’s nipple made him gasp, so Kili gently rolled both nubs until they stiffened into pebbles and he could tease the tips with his thumb, making Thorin break their kiss to moan quietly. Smiling, Kili pressed wet kisses on Thorin’s neck and jaw, unsure if he’s allowed to leave marks. Eventually, his ministration was reciprocated. Thorin’s hand landed on his hips, squeezing hesitantly before sliding lower to cup Kili’s bottom.

Kili gasped sharply as his hips jerked forward, his cock twitching between his legs. This, too, was familiar. When feeling particularly brave and zealous, Thorin would knead and stroke Kili’s bottom. Sometimes his fingers even strayed to the cleft, stroking near Kili’s entrance, teasing Kili with what they wanted. That had never failed to set Kili’s desire aflame and this time was not an exception. He rut against Thorin’s lower abdomen, moaning and gasping as the delicious friction hardened him fully. His prepared hole clenched, the emptiness ached, begging to be filled. Kili recalled the strange sensation of having his own fingers inside and moaned, imagining Thorin’s cock stretching him, instead. He locked his lips with Thorin’s again as he rocked back to Thorin’s hand, asking wordlessly for his fingers to enter him.

“Thorin,” he moaned in plea, grounding his cock against Thorin’s solid body and pushing back against his questing fingers. He shuddered when Thorin brushed against his entrance, making his cock throb painfully. He knew there was a growing damp spot on the front of his robe now. “Please.”

Thorin tensed up and stopped completely. Kili frowned in confusion and disappointment, his body thrumming with desire, but then he noticed the lack of reaction from Thorin. While his erection was pressing insistently against Thorin, he felt no answering arousal against himself. He pulled away slightly to look at Thorin questioningly.

“I’m sorry,” Thorin said very quietly. “I don’t think I can.”

Kili glanced at the lords who were watching them with judging eyes. His cock wilted at the reminder of the gazes he and Thorin were under. This moment was supposed to be private. No one should’ve seen him coaxing Thorin to arousal and Thorin feeding the flame burning in Kili’s veins. They should be thinking of no one but themselves as they claimed each other’s mouth, as Kili’s hands explored the body which had tantalized him for years, as Thorin groped Kili’s bottom and prepared his tight entrance with his thick fingers, as Kili whined and begged Thorin to take him. But these lords were here, carefully watching them, and they wouldn’t leave until the marriage was consummated. Kili looked at Thorin with wide eyes. What if they couldn’t do it? What if Thorin couldn’t achieve arousal? The thoughts of these lords being disappointed and denying their marriage was more than Kili could take. Desperate, he did the only thing he could think of: he dropped down to his knees and parted Thorin’s robe. Above him Thorin gasped sharply but Kili paid it no mind. He licked his suddenly dry lips as he took in the sight of the almost completely soft cock nestled in thick thatch of dark hair. He had dreamt of this moment for years: him on his knees taking Thorin’s erection into his mouth, learning what pleased him and how to make him come. But, the current reality was far from his fantasy. Gripping Thorin’s thighs tightly to steel himself, Kili leaned forward and licked the sensitive tip.

“Kili!” Thorin cried out hoarsely, his hand flying to Kili’s hair.

Again, Kili ignored him. He licked Thorin’s cock dilligently, lathering every inch of it in saliva, focusing on the tip that he kissed and sucked gently until Thorin moaned. He felt it twitch under his tongue, but licking wasn’t enough to bring it to hardness. No, it would take more than that, it would take more than what Kili dared to do with an audience, but what choice did he have? Kili kissed Thorin’s thighs to gain courage and drew Thorin’s cock into his mouth until his nose hit Thorin’s lower abdomen. He had never done this, but he had heard enough about it to know what was expected of him. His tongue teased the thickening veins, stroking them uncertainly. Heavy breathing filled the room as Thorin stroked Kili’s hair and gently pulled his head closer. A glance upward showed Kili that Thorin had his eyes closed as he panted for breath, his pale skin flushed red. Believing that he had done the right thing, Kili doubled his efforts, gently sucking Thorin and teasing throbbing veins and sensitive slit with flickering tip of his tongue. Though Kili was inexperienced, the ministration and the wet warmth finally roused Thorin’s cock to hardness. It became increasingly difficult to keep all of Thorin inside Kili’s mouth without him choking. Tears sprung to his closed eyes whenever the flared tip tickled the back of his throat. He trembled when saliva escaped his stretched lips and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop making a mess of himself.

Regretfully, Kili pulled back a little so he could breathe. His sob, hidden by the flesh filling his mouth, went unnoticed by Thorin. With a needy moan, Thorin tightened his grip on Kili’s hair and began to move, pushing into Kili’s warm mouth in careful little thrusts. Kili whimpered, his tongue unsure of what to do except for trying to caress the thick length, his jaw tired from being open for so long, and he wasn’t sure how to breathe with the flared tip of Thorin’s cock pushing close to his throat at every stroke. But he did nothing except holding Thorin’s thighs tightly, allowing Thorin to use his mouth as he pleased. If this made Thorin happy, then he would take it.

“This is most unusual,” someone murmured.

Thorin tensed up. His cock didn’t soften, but Kili feared it was only a matter of time before his nervousness chased away the lust Kili had tried so hard to ignite. Not wanting this to fail for fear of what the lords were capable of, Kili pulled away so he could look at his husband. He pumped Thorin’s hard cock slowly while kissing the soft skin. “It’s all right,” he whispered.

Thorin frowned. “It’s not…”

But Kili drew him into his mouth again before he could protest. Now Kili sucked and licked Thorin more vigorously, determined to make him forget their audience. His jaw was sore and his neck tired as he bobbed he head, sucking until his cheeks hollowed so that he could taste Thorin’s early seed on his tongue whenever he withdrew. As Thorin resumed his thrusting, Kili nearly gagged a few times. Saliva dripped down his chin messily as he struggled to pleasure Thorin. He must’ve made a shameful sight more befitting the poor dwarfs selling themselves in dark alleys than a prince consort in the royal bedchamber on his wedding night. Still, he allowed Thorin to rock forward, chasing bliss in his mouth. He closed his eyes and focused on Thorin’s musky scent and the slides of his length on his frantic tongue and the slightly salty taste of Thorin’s pre-ejaculate, imagining how it would feel when Thorin finally took him. Kili’s arousal had started to wane the moment his discomfort set in, but his pleasure was supposed to be secondary, a happy incidence if it occurred but not important enough to be noticed if it went amiss.

A harsh thrust into his spasming throat choked Kili. He reared back, spluttering. Tears wet his eyes as he coughed and gasped for breath, his throat sore. The lords’ gazes felt heavy on him and he trembled in shame. He had failed to pleasure his husband. True, he had no experience and the lords seemed to think he shouldn’t have to use his mouth, but he should’ve been able to take whatever Thorin gave him, should’ve been able to bring him pleasure in any way he desired and clearly, despite his nervousness, Thorin had wanted Kili to take him deeper into his mouth. Kili shouldn’t have pulled away. He should’ve let Thorin did what he wanted, even if it might hurt him.

“I’m sorry,” Thorin gasped out, reaching down to stroke his hair.

But Kili shook his head. It wasn’t Thorin’s fault that Kili couldn’t take him. He blinked away his tears, knowing Thorin wouldn’t like to see him weak on top of failing to satisfy him, and looked at the flushed cock bobbing gently before him. He could try again, but he feared more failure-there wasn’t any place for it. So, Kili braced himself and stood up. The room was filled with tension and expectation as he undid his robe, lie down on the bed and spread his legs, his feet planted firmly on the bed, presenting himself to his husband. A shaky smile curled his lips when he saw Thorin’s eyes drifted down to his prepared hole, but it disappeared quickly when he caught a glimpse of restless movements on his peripheral vision. Though he was still wearing his robe, it did nothing to cover his body now and every physical flaw he had was presented under the coldly assessing eyes of strangers. And there were numerous of them that he had both been born with and gained through misadventures and battles. Usually, he cared little for what people thought of his appearance, but now Kili was acutely and painfully aware that he was not the flawless dwarf a king deserved. The dwarf lords’ mere presence and gaze reminded him of every insult ever flung his way. Kili clutched the cool silky sheet beneath him as he fought nervousness and guilt.

Something shifted in Thorin’s expression and he rushed forward to climb onto the bed. Kili released a heavy breath when his new husband’s robe and hair curtained them from view. He pulled Thorin down with shaking hands to kiss him frantically. He almost sobbed in relief when Thorin kissed him back harder and slid a hand down to stroke Kili back to hardness. His touch was unfamiliar and he fumbled a little, but Kili still bucked his hips, thrusting into the clasp of Thorin’s rough hand. The knowledge that Thorin was touching his cock was enough to reawaken his passion and soon he was spilling early seed onto Thorin’s hand. Kili moaned into the kiss and skimmed his hands down Thorin’s chest and abdomen, pausing briefly to caress Thorin’s nipples to make him moan, until he reached Thorin’s thick cock. Thorin groaned when he slowly pumped the impatiently twitching length, not wanting to risk the arousal dissipating, now that they were so close to the end of this horrible test.

Suddenly, Thorin pulled away, though he made sure that his robe and hair still covered Kili. He released Kili’s erection and removed Kili’s hand from his cock. Grimacing, he guided himself to Kili’s loose entrance. When the tip brushed the ring of muscles, Kili gasped sharply, drawing Thorin’s gaze. For one second, Thorin hesitated, but then with regretful eyes, he drove himself into Kili in one rough thrust, making Kili arch his back with a small cry. Kili’s internal muscles clenched in shock, unaccustomed to such intrusion, and there was a stab of pain at the sudden entry. The oil he had used earlier to prepare himself scarcely helped as soreness started to spread across his lower body. Kili spread his trembling thighs to ease the stretch, but it didn’t help much. He cried out when Thorin shifted to kiss the side of his face, his body not ready for any movement yet. With shaking arms, he embraced Thorin, silently begging him not to stay still for a moment.

“Thorin, we cannot see,” someone protested from the side.

Kili tensed up even as Thorin growled in warning. They were not alone. This was not about them and their joyful discovery of each other. This was not about Kili and whether or not he was ready to be taken by Thorin. And this was only the beginning. Kili understood now why Thorin was in such a rush to take him. He didn’t want to prolong Kili’s shame more than necessary. Kili met Thorin’s eyes behind the flimsy cover of his greying hair. Anger and guilt mixed in Thorin’s expression but Kili had no power to comfort him. He closed his eyes so that tears wouldn’t rise up again as he loosened his grip around Thorin, allowing him to do what he should. His internal muscles was still clutching tightly around the length, protesting the intrusion; his body still felt as if it’s nearly torn into two, but they couldn’t stop now.

“I’m sorry,” Thorin apologized quietly.

He gave Kili only one second to relax before starting to pound into him, using all his force to repeatedly spear into Kili’s tender body. The smacks of their bodies meeting hid Kili’s pained gasps. Thorin’s robe covered his writhing body. Inexperienced, Kili couldn’t tell whether to push back and meet Thorin’s powerful thrusts or rear back for reprieve from it. Thorin gave him little choice about it, pulling out slightly before slamming inside again, forcing open Kili’s tightly clenching muscles. There was red hot ecstasy in the way Kili’s body stretched around Thorin’s cock and pulled it in and the way Thorin grazed again a particular spot inside Kili and reached deeper than Kili’s fingers had when he prepared himself. But the feeling was fleeting, the pleasure likely accidental, due to the demanding way Thorin took him, the little care he put into bringing Kili pleasure. Kili held onto Thorin’s arms tightly and closed his eyes to hide his sorrow. The first time they shared their bodies with each other should be a lesson to savor, but now he was merely being used.

“Hurry. Come,” Thorin whispered, his voice cracking in sadness. He reached down to pump Kili’s heavy cock quickly. “Come, Kili. Please.”

Kili didn’t want to come. Not this way, not with these people watching them. But he knew that if he didn’t, Thorin would not rest easy, feeling guilty that he had achieved bliss when Kili suffered. So, Kili clenched his eyes tightly, focusing on the pleasure of Thorin’s touch and deep thrusts. Bravely, for he was a son of Durin, he met Thorin halfway, making Thorin’s cock reach him deeper. Gradually, pleasure coiled low in his belly and his stones tightened. Kili sobbed as he sought Thorin’s lips to defeat the reluctance to commit the very private act of releasing before an audience. Understanding this, Thorin plundered his mouth thoroughly, taking his mind away from where they were by using his agile tongue and soft lips. A few harsh strokes and thrusts deep into his core and Kili came with a cry, tears slipping down from the corners of his eyes.

Thorin didn’t stop even as Kili spurted onto their bellies. He kept thrusting into him, trying to reach his peak as soon as possible. As his body was completely overwhelmed by intense pleasure which bordered on pain, Kili’s heart twisted when he saw Thorin’s tortured expression above him. He didn’t want this, either, but neither of them had any choice. Kili closed his eyes and bit his lip, quietly letting Thorin use his sensitive body. Every thrust felt like a stab, but he was determined to not let his pain show. When Thorin finally came, he came with a pained growl, embedding his cock deeply as he emptied himself inside Kili’s trembling body. His body might be sated but there was no relief in this release. He bowed his head, hiding his face in Kili’s shoulder as he continued to pump his seed out. His sorrow was clear and painful to bear, but before Kili could hold him and comfort him, he sat up, glaring mutinously at the lords around him.

“It is done! Are you satisfied?” he demanded accusingly. There was a slight unsteadiness in his voice, but it was hard to tell whether it’s from his recent release, his sadness, or his anger.

A lord cleared his throat. “We couldn’t see it. We need proof to be sure.”

“What do you mean proof?” Thorin asked in disbelief.

The comforting heat and proximity of Thorin’s body suddenly disappeared and Kili was suddenly left alone and empty. Kili blinked rapidly in confusion, still feeling slightly disoriented from the experience, so he missed the dip of the bed as others joined him. He nearly jumped when he felt strange hands on him. Kili glanced down only briefly to see the dwarf lords surrounding him, inspecting his newly claimed body. Sickness grew in his stomach and his skin crawled. He forced himself to stare at the ceiling and tried to not think of what was happening around him. Thorin’s protests sounded distant to him when a couple of old hands dipped into his seed which was splattered on his stomach. Someone hummed thoughtfully and the next thing he knew, a calloused hand was touching his spent cock. He gasped loudly, clutching the sheet, as rough fingers fondled him and swiped over the sensitive tip. Shame reddened his skin, but no one seemed to care.

“He came,” someone announced to the murmured admiration and approval of the other dwarfs.

Kili’s cock was left alone, but the inspection wasn’t over yet. Two hands gripped his thighs and this time they paused long enough to let him know what was coming. Kili’s breath stuttered as he tried and failed to focus on anything but what was being done to him. Thorin shouted louder, but it was for nothing. Two fingers slipped inside Kili’s tender hole. They moved in and out briefly, a sick imitation of what had just taken place between Kili and Thorin. Never in his life had he felt as shamed as violated as this moment, as strangers touched him in his most intimate place against his will after witnessing what was supposed to be a private act of love between a couple. Kili closed his eyes and clenched his teeth to hide his trembling when the digits finally left his body. He knew he had to be strong, but he felt sick and dirty and powerless here surrounded by these old lords. He was not a prince consort, not a warrior, not even a dwarf. He was just an object to satisfy these dwarfs’ thirst for tradition.

“The king has fulfilled his duty,” someone said and the hands on Kili finally withdrew. He tried not to think of whether or not any of them lingered. “The marriage has been consummated. We will announce the happy news to the guests.”

Kili turned his head to the side, fruitlessly hiding from the world. It wasn’t enough that he was humiliated by these dwarfs, the experience would also be shared with others. He breathed slowly to stop himself from sobbing, the tightness around his chest warning him that tears were impending. He had to be strong. These dwarfs had seen far too much of his private life. He wouldn’t allow them to see him weak as well. It was enough. They had taken enough.

“Get out!” Thorin roared angrily.

The door opened and footsteps very slowly distanced themselves from the room. There was a murmur of apology but no reply from Thorin. Finally, the last lord left and the door slammed behind him. It was over, but that wasn’t how Kili felt. He kept his eyes closed and his face turned away. He couldn’t move his trembling body, still indecently spread on the bed. There was a nagging voice at the back of his head wondering the point of propriety when he had been taken before others and touched by those not his husband.

“Kili,” Thorin breathed despairingly.

The bed dipped and Kili was pulled into Thorin’s arms. The embrace was almost crushing, but Kili only blinked. The warmth and the scent were comfortingly familiar, but not enough and yet far too much. Physical contact burnt his skin and he almost flinched when Thorin lightly brushed his lips against his temple. He was soiled, spoiled, defiled. He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t want this. He wanted Thorin away from him. Guilt hit Kili almost immediately. How could he not want his own husband’s touches?

“I should’ve stopped them. I shouldn’t have let them…”

Thorin couldn’t go on and Kili was grateful for it. He didn’t need verbal confirmation of what had just happened or a reminder of their powerlessness. He tried to calm himself, stop his mind from racing to that deep dark crevasse he felt looming nearby. They had to be strong and Kili didn’t want to be a burden, losing himself in the memory of the humiliation. It was enough that the phantom touches still seared his body, leaving it sensitive to any physical contact.

“I will execute them!” Thorin growled, his deep voice cold and harsh. This was the voice that commanded hundreds to battle, that ruled over thousands with firm hands. This was the voice of one who did not speak threats lightly. Kili knew without a shadow of doubt that Thorin intended to carry that out with no consideration of what consequences it might bring. “Their heads for their insolence!”

Kili loosely wrapped his arms around his husband. It was heartening to know that Thorin loved him so, but it was too late for them, too late for him. “You can’t do that. They are important lords who have served Thrain and Thror before you. Executing them would only create instability and harm your authority,” Kili said. He pulled away from Thorin so they could look at each other properly. In his many decades of life, Kili had never seen Thorin as despaired and helpless as this moment. He was always strong, always untouchable and invincible no matter the situation. But now he was not the prophesized warrior king, he was only a dwarf husband despairing in his inability to protect his loved one. Kili reached out for Thorin’s hand and squeezed it. He summoned the strength that had taken him to battle, helped him deflect death, enabled him to be a proper prince, and won him Thorin’s heart, to help him speak without tremor in his voice. “Well, it’s over now. Let’s clean ourselves.”

Thorin stared at him for a moment and cupped the back of Kili’s head. He said no word but his eyes clearly spoke of his grief. His power and strength could only do so much. An important part of their lives had been taken away and there was nothing anyone, not even a king, could do to restore it. Now, there was nothing they could do but try to continue living. Thorin took a deep shaking breath and helped Kili to his feet. The tightness of his grip on Kili showed that his anger and frustration still lingered, but Kili said nothing, even though his aching body yearned for gentler touch. He’d rather bear it for a while than let Thorin realize his previous threats. He didn’t want to waste their sufferings only because he needed comfort.

Leaning against each other for support, they walked to an adjacent bathroom. Kili wondered how he would be able to face his people tomorrow as a defiled prince consort, how he would be able to work alongside the very lords who had humiliated him and his husband, and how he would again find peace and contentment in Thorin’s bedchamber. It seemed to him that he would never forget tonight for the rest of his life. But he looked at Thorin and saw devotion in the way Thorin looked at him. Just as they had gone on the quest together and went to battle side by side, they faced this violation together. This shame, pain, and discontent were theirs to share, though at the moment Kili felt quite alone. They would survive this horrible night and heal together. Kili didn’t know how, yet, but they would find a way.

Encouraged by the realization and determined not to be weakened by sick old lords, Kili kissed the corner of Thorin’s lips. When Thorin’s eyebrow rose in surprise, he merely grinned mischievously. And if it wavered a little, Thorin completely understood. “After this, I want you to make me yours properly.” He needed to replace the memory of strangers’ hands on his body with Thorin’s gentle caresses.

Thorin stared at him for a moment before chuckling weakly. “Only if you make me yours first.”

Kili’s eyes lighted up at the suggestion. In his moment of shame and despair he had forgotten it. Everyone had assumed that their relationship was only one way, with Kili accepting whatever Thorin gave him-even Kili had thought the same. But that was not at all how the relationship was. Kili wasn’t the only one who had something to take. Thorin, too, had himself to offer and this time, there was no one to take the moment away from them. This time it would be just the two of them, together for love instead of tradition.

The lords might have chipped away their dignity and intruded what should never be made public, but it was a mere moment in Thorin and Kili’s lives. They had a future with their lives entwined together, decades to make new memories and be happy, this time without the disruption of old minds, wandering hands, and backward traditions. Kili knew the memory would persist-dwarfs never forgive and never forget-but he would make sure that over time it would be nothing but a sour note in their otherwise fulfilling lives. Together, he and Thorin would reform ancient traditions, so that no one again would have to suffer this offense as they had, and if those lords moaned and complained, then it was for the better. Kili held Thorin’s hand tightly and Thorin gripped his hand back just as strongly. No word was exchanged but they knew that the bond of their love was stronger. They wouldn’t only survive the memory of this night, but they would be stronger-much stronger, for it. Kili grinned when he saw the return of Thorin’s confident smirk. They would show the world that the spirits of Durin’s sons were not easily broken.

**Author's Note:**

> While editing this, I wondered what's wrong with me. But I guess the real question is what is not wrong with me. Oh, well.
> 
> Visit me on [tumblr](http://demonessryu.tumblr.com/) to say hi, talk about thorinkili, or buy what’s left of my soul with photosets/gif sets/arts of thorinkili.


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